I have this brother. No, this won’t be a rant on Fexnox and his evil plans that consist mainly of getting me in trouble. I’m talking about my other brother. ‘What,’ you gasp. ‘Koko has another brother?’ Yes, I do. He’s turning 12 this year, and he’s two years younger than me. With the teeny age gap, this means that I didn’t get to capture much baby blackmail, but I have some memories and some pictures that I can use. He’s been bugging me to write about him, so here it is. Be warned: I was half asleep when I wrote this, so forgive me if there’s a typo or two somewhere. I was also closing my eyes when I wrote this, so double warning.
I have this brother. He’s a real pain in the
arse (fine mom I’ll censor it) patootie a lot of the time, but he can be good. But it’s probably when he wants something or my mom’s bribed him. Admit it mom, you bribe him with cash. ANYWAY.
I also have this stuffed animal decorative plushie, as the seller called it. Who is rainbow/glittery/purple, who is also a snake, and is about 15 inches long, I think.
Anyway, last night the rainbow snake and my brother clashed. My brother lay down on my bed. He was being annoying and trying to convince me to let him watch Minecraft videos. And then, when I was typing something, he picked up the snake and dangled it headfirst above his dangled it above his open mouth and made fake ‘eating noises’ that sounded like he was about to choke. I looked over and there the noob was, trying to eat my stuffed animal decorative plushie. GAH.
And he’s reading this as I type it. And he just said ‘yay’. And ‘now I’m a star’. He’s being annoying.
Now, here is another time the aforementioned noob irritated everyone and made a laughingstock of himself. (I bet he doesn’t even know what ‘laughingstock’ means) It means ‘a stock that laughs’ according to dear brother. It was March 12th, I think. We were saying goodbye to our aunt who was in her car and we were in our car. He decided to open the window all the way and lean his whole torso out of the window. Here is a transcript of his ravings.
“NOOOOOO! DON’T LEAVE ME! COME BACK! DON’T LEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAVVVEEEEEEEEEE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE–!”
Where the ‘EEE’s are italicised, my mom had started the car and moved forward a bit. He promptly pulled his body back into the car, but not without releasing a very feminine girly womanly high-pitched MANLY* shriek first. So the last part of ‘me’ is a shriek.
I really do think that this post is crap. But I’m gonna post it anyway. Sorry, readers. I’ll post a bit of awesomeness tomorrow to make up for it, how’s that?
* It really wasn’t manly at all. The ‘manly’ is just there because he threatened to set my pillow on fire if I didn’t put it there. And since he’s actually hit me in the nose with a golf club before, I think I’ll take him seriously.