What happens after ‘Happily Ever After’?

Have you ever wondered what happens after ‘happily ever after’? I know I have. Wondering what happens after the end is the reason for so much fanfiction. Disney fanfic is surprisingly well-written, actually. I will say nothing about Twilight’s fandom, however.

Anyway, back to the topic. If you’ve ever wanted to know what Ariel did after she married Eric, or what Belle did after her happy ending, or maybe how Jasmine dealt with a monkey, a carpet, and a blue djinn invading her palace? Famous Youtuber Jon Cozart, also known as Paint, has answered all your questions!

He wrote a song about four of the princesses (Ariel, Jasmine, Belle, and Pocahontas) that he sings a capella–with himself. Sound cool yet? Get this: The four princesses sing about their lives in the modern world. Interesting, no? Jasmine has perhaps the least gruesome plight. Here’s part of her song.

Hey, I’m OK, but I’m slightly scared
My husband’s a mark for the War on Terror
Aladdin was taken by the CIA
We’re not Taliban
You’ve got the wrong man
In Guantanamo Bay
Prince Ali, where could he be, drowning in wawa

Yep. Listen to the whole thing. I think my favorite part is at 1:44 when he goes ‘Bush was crazy, Obama’s lazy’. It sums up my feelings about politics.

Also, here are the lyrics, provided by Zap2it.

If you’ve ever wondered why
Disney’s tales all end in lies
Here’s what happened after all their dreams came true

Ariel
I loved being princess down in — this beautiful ocean blue
But mermaids are going missing — they end up in someone’s stew
So just try to put yourself in — to somebody else’s gills
You’re killing my ecosystem — with fishing and oil spills
Thank you BP, thank you BP
The British are killing, oil is spilling
Now I can’t see… MY EYES!
Chinamen feast on Flounder’s fins
Plus the Japanese killed all my whale friends
Oceans are browning, I think I’m drowning
Thanks to BP
YOU SUCK!

Jasmine
Hey, I’m OK, but I’m slightly scared
My husband’s a mark for the War on Terror
Aladdin was taken by the CIA
We’re not Taliban
You’ve got the wrong man
In Guantanamo Bay
Prince Ali, where could he be, drowning in wawa
Interrogation from the nation of the “free”
Bin Laden’s taken the fall
We’re not trained pilots at all
Jafar went crazy and no one put up a fuss
We’re for freedom, Genie can vouch for us
Bush was crazy, Obama’s lazy, al-Qaeda’s not in this country
Set free my Prince Ali

Belle
A whore! A whore!
A whore, a whore, a whore!
This town’s gone wild since I married Adam
They think I’m going straight to hell
But the charges laid on me
Of bestiality
Could wind up getting me thrown in a cell
No, I’m overrun by mad men
I hear they plan to burn me at the stake
They legit believe I’m Satan
And now I hear that PETA’s gonna take my beast away

Pocahontas
After John Smith traveled back to England
I helped my people cultivate the fields
More English, French, and Spaniards came to visit
And they greeted us with guns and germs and steel
They forced us into unknown lands of exile
They pillaged, raped, and left us all for dead
So now I’m far more liberal with a weapon
When I separate their bodies from their heads
Have you ever held the entrails of an English guy?
Or bit the beating hearts of Spanish men?
Can you shoot an arrow in some French guy’s eyeball?
Can you paint with the red colors in these men
I can murder if I please
Cause I’m dying of disease
I can paint with the red colors in these men

Thanks to BP
Where’s Prince Ali?
Bestiality
I’ve got STDs

Also, it’s Fexnox’s birthday! Or at least it was yesterday (St. Patty’s Day). So go over to his blog and wish him a happy birthday!

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About Danny

I blog about whatever's on my mind. Usually that's stuff like Harry Potter metaposts, writing, and LGBTQ+ topics.
This entry was posted in Awesomeness, environmental stuff, Music, Random stuff, Weird things and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to What happens after ‘Happily Ever After’?

  1. Emma Snow says:

    I saw this the other day and I just completely….WOW. I didn’t know whether to cry or laugh. It was good, though. The guy has talent.

    • I know. I’ve got really mixed feelings on the subject, but I just sort of stuffed that part away and enjoyed the music. He’s a really good singer and he’s done other stuff, like Harry Potter in 99 Seconds. You should check out his other works. And thanks for commenting!

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