Unusual subject, but yes, I will be showing you how to blackmail your siblings. Today the actual blackmail is a picture of my little brother. Wearing a pink dress, bonnet, and holding one of those huge lollipops they sell at amusement parks.
I would post it for you to see him in all his glory, but he actually believed me for once.
- Make copies of your blackmail. As Mad-eye Moody would say, “CONSTANT VIGILANCE!” You can never be too paranoid when blackmailing someone.
- Hide them everywhere. I stuck them in my homework folder, emailed a copy to myself, hidden one in an obscure folder somewhere, and stuck one on a USB that I hid somewhere.
- Take a copy, get the victim alone, and threaten to post the picture all over Twitter, my blog, email it to everyone I know, paper his homework with them . . . Yeah.
- When he cowers in fear and agrees, trick him into thinking the copy you have is the only one and let him go off and burn/shred/feed it to the dog.
- Laugh evilly.
- Remind him of the thing you’re making him do. I like to stick with public humiliation.
- When he goes off to do it, laugh evilly again and proceed to the pantry for some microwave popcorn.
- Eat it and watch.